thoughts of a euphoric mind

thoughts of the high mind. i had so much to say, that i thought about in my head..while i sat here so still... waiting for the browser to load. and when it finally did. i typed in the first sentence. and had no though at all. as soon i planned to jot down all the deep shit i was thinking i couldnt even remember it. and the way everything is right now, feels like a movie. im in the center of my bed, legs crossed, hair messy, pitch black. with my blanket over my shoulders down my back. i just realized (through this image) even though i forgot everything i was about to talk about. i still managed to fill this space with words. i think when you're out of your element, otherwise HIGH; it stimulates your mind to constantly have thoughts. every moment you actually realize how high you are because the way you're thinking. i dont know if thats for everyone but it applies to me. however, actually i dont think the word "however" is even fitting for the beginning of the sentence. BUT however (lol), i tend to keep trying to come out my high to see myself seriously and realize how i am. because i know that im thinknig all this shit up, and its all making so much sense to me... if i tried to explain this to someone in person they would get irritated and brush me off saying "you're high" watever. enough with that i d g a F is no one understands what im saying. whats misunderstood aint gotta be explained, lil wayne couldnt have stated that any better. im so aware of everything touching my skin right now. i feel relaxed also, tensed. i feel like im trying to relax every last bone in my body from my scalp (i know thats not a bone) to my toes... is toes a bone? hehe. name a bone... rib bone. and idk i cant think of none. a chin bone. haha. is you high or suttaan? uhhh uh gurrl i am solidddd. shooooot. lmaooo something in my head was sayin that. eeeee :). iim happy but, thats jst the idgaf -part of(from) the weed kickin in. because im rlly sad. i wish things could go my way. theres something i never told anyone... and it ended like that.

but theres something about summer

and i cant help but enjoy the freedom of summer, how- no matter what day it is, someone is WILLING to get into trouble. the shortest 2 months of life, because you live it up like winter break was just not enough. & spring break felt like a nap. speaking of which, goodnight.

x0xo.

a homosexual reality.

i read an article, not too long ago. something about how 2 gay men shared a kiss on the cheek infront of a plaza (owned by a church), and a security guard demanded them to leave. and it broke my heart that there are still people who cant handle reality. not everyone is the same and no one is going to obide by the same rules. so anyways, it says the next day protestors approached the plaza to kiss their lovers, in support for "gays." which is cool, however i disagree with this protest. yes it was extremely rude to have the men leave the area but to have plenty moreee homosexuals come out to show they cant be "stopped" is where the real inappropiate situation arises. because, a church/religion in itself... is uncomfortable with homosexuality. see, people become so sure that their way is right, and they want everyone to understand their point of view and it becomes hatred & judgemental. the men werent asked to leave because they were gay (so they say), the article said they were asked to leave because the plaza prohibited any acts of affection. i mean a kiss on the cheek doesnt seem like quite a big DEAL to me. but because its two grown gay men.. OH NO! GET THEM OUT OF HERE BEFORE SOMEONE ELSE FINDS OUT. people just need to be more comfortable with themselves. enjoy life and love whoever you want to. because if its not harming you, then its really none of your business. and i know i must sound like im contradicting myself, but im really just trying to say.. stop caring about who is loving whom. because you cant change the way someone feels in their heart. everyone wants to be an individual and explain what makes them sooo different and unique, when really most of you just need attention. because people are different and always have been. you are NOT the creater of difference. and people will do as they please. if you dont like gays, thats you as a person. thats what makes you different. eat it up!
.

fuck blame

if everyone could just stop pointing fingers and just realize the situation for what it is, then there wouldnt be a problem in the first place. everyone claims that theyre not a snitch.... likee, then why you always blamin someone for something? everybody confides in playing the victim-role. when really, YALL the main suspects! its so beyond played out that im actually interested in seeing if someone will invent a different character. its my biggest pet peeve, annoyance, whatev! growww the hell up people, its two thousand nine now. & if people can take up for their own actions then there would be no one to blame. i think the word "blame" should be substituted by "fuck." so the next time u wanna fuck someone, FUCK YOURSELF!!! lmfaoo. ahhh.

they say jennifer, you're just too much. but sometimes its not enough.

emm

everything im about to say, are thoughts coming to my head:

im baccccck! dang it took me almost a year to return to my blogspot! and i was thinking about just creating a new one but, i have 4 followers and im not one to start from scratch! & what is twitter? well, whats the differnce? anyways, highschool is over! and i can not fathom (woah big word!) how long i have been waiting for this to come. senior year was one of the most roughest years i've ever had in my life! emotionally- it was probably the worse era of my life. i wouldnt say that ive been through "a lot" in my life... i mean, everyone has struggles and their hardships on earth. but for the most part (to my knowledge) life hasnt been bad compared to others that i know. aside from growing up without MY mom, this year must have been the icing on the cake. and i HATE icing. so that should set an example for how much i liked this year. theres so many emotions that i cant express through words..and still try to make sense of it. the memories within the school year have been amazing! but now im off to a different road, college. im honestly just trying to see where i can get myself in life. i stopped wondering why we are here & what really put us here. nothing in life is a coincidence. life doesnt come with a manual, so just let shit be. i think im done for now... ill write some deep shit that makes people think next time ;)

snooze

So I'm back up in the game
Running things to keep my swing
Letting all the people know
That I'm back to run the show...

epitome :[noun] a person or thing that is typical of or possesses to a high degree the features of a whole class: I AM THE EPITOME OF SLEEPY.

& today couldnt have gone better then any other school-day-tuesday. your typical "i cant wait a second longer to get my ass home and sleep" tuesday. the tuesdays i love because school ends at 1:something-oclock. but the same tuesdays i dread , because waking up from my baby-comas i call sleep suck me back into the reality that i cant be alone, and im not alone. which is a blessing in disguise. but you never know what you have until its gone. WHICH IS MY SLEEP!! sleeping is a form of "death?" u know, rest in peace? kinda weirrrdd i know. but my sleep is my euphoria. my simple get away while im still here. and its gone by 6:15am every morning when the annoying music from my alarm screams at me -_- . but the day starts. and as the day ends........im falling back asleep. thankyou, tuesday.

but enough of tuesday, lets talk about more! i realized i cant walk back on bridges ive burned. but i can rebuild them! and i plan on doing so. when my ego and pride falls down on me. ha , yeah fuckn right...

just wake me up when september ends .